I though I’d never say what I’m about to say, but I’m obsessed with Yuri on Ice Omegaverse fanfictions right now. After 2 weeks and 65+hours of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the BOTW-Share_iconWild (and I’m still only halfway done, DAMN this game is freaking amazing – I’m currently on Death Mountain and the game actually expects me to buy a helmet for 2000 rupees? REALLY? When the chest part was like… 600 rupees? I may be swimming in money, but 2000 rupees for an item that’s not even important still hurts. Time to sell some more diamonds.), I took a break from my Nintendo Switch and buried myself in Yuri on Ice again.

Did I EVER mention I love Yuri on Ice? *cough* Yeah, Victuuri is my life.

Either way, when I first heared about Omegaverse, I was disgusted. I’m no expert by any means, but here’s the basics of what I’ve learned about it:

  • people have secondary genders: alpha, beta and omega
  • these secondary gener roles are very animalistic and based on sexual behaviorism of animals
  • betas are basically “normal people”
  • alphas are strong, leaders and at the top of the hierarchy, they are very protective over “their” omega, they go into ruts, knot with omegas while mating and can bind an omega to themselves
  • omegas are the lowest in the hierarchy, but are often treated as a “prize”, they go into heat (a time in which they are extreamly vulnerable), they usually build nests during heat, can get pregnant and may bond with an alpha
  • both alphas and omegas have a very strong distinctive smell that attracks them to each other, betas are ususaly either not affected, or can’t smell it

1481346976_yuri-iceAs you can see… very animalistic. There’s a lot more, like growling, sexual drive going absolutely mad, leaving one’s scent on the other, fighting between alphas for an omega and so on. There’s so much more, but I’m going to go into any more detail. I’ve read a short descibtion about a fanfiction where deltas were mentioned and I was like: “NOPE! I’m glad I got the general grip on alpha/beta/omega, please don’t knot my brain any more.” and another one that was an alphaomega, so… kind of a mix between an omega and an alpha – something like an alpha that goes into heat or something. As you can see: it varies a lot.

Now… I’m not just reading everything I see. Like I said, I was disgusted the first time I learned about it. It being so extremaly animalistic, it’s also very sterotypical and I personally support equality in gender roles. One of Victuuris many charming traits is that Yuri and Victor are in an equal relationship. They support each other, they lean on each other and even though Victor is Yuris coach and emotional support, you see him fail and Yuri stepping up to expain what he needs. The rings were Yuri’s idea. Their Ice Dance at the end of the final episode very clearly shows the lead changing between Victor and Yuri as a beautiful protrayal of their equal relationship.

Therefore, I prefer Omegaverse with Victor as the omega and Yuri as the alpha. It’s the exact opposite of what you would expect and I hate fanfictions/fanarts with domestic passive Yuri who’s at Victoir’s feet, because that’s NOT how their relationship works. With omega Victor and alpha Yuri, you have to challenge gender roles and expectations comming with them. Unless you want to write something completely out of character, you need to challenge both characters with their secondary gender. In one fancfiction Victor  has mental problems with going into heat and he had suppressed his heats so long, his efff4a1173921308b0a7f072412382b0body forced him into one, leading to a doctor’s visit who denied him any more suppressants forcing Victor to face his fears of being an omega. Or alpha Yuri who sees himself as a failure and thinks he should’ve been an omega or beta instead. He’s shaken with fear when Victor wants to share his heat with Yuri, but turns out to be possessive and protective when he needs to be.

Yuri on Ice was a show about equality and acceptance, where not a single soul  discriminates if you love someone of the same gender as your own or not. It’s a show about two very different characters finding, supporting and helping each other to become equal partners. The last thing I need to read/see about this show are fanworks about stoneage old sterotypical gender roles.


Best of 2016

Now that 2017 has arrived and is still in it’s baby shoes, I’d like to make quick list about my best manga, anime, game and movie of 2016. Last year I made this huge individual lists, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m going to keep it shorter. The same rules apply as last year:  on going franchises are allowed & also titles I’ve seen/read/played 2016 but premiered ealier are allowed as well.

Best Game of 2016

As for best game, unfortunately there was no Zelda this year, so no Zelda for best game either. Spoiler alert: Zelda will be best game of 2017. I’m actually very tempted to go with Super Metroid, even though it’s very old, but it’s so damn good. Even after so many years, it’s still such an amazing game and I haven’t played it on SNES back in the days, I played it first on the Wii U. However, if a 22 years old game is better than recent games, that would be sad, even if Super Metroid is one of the best games ever made.

So, what else to choose? I played Yokai Watch, which was nice. Bravely Second was very good as well and I also liked Legend of Legacy and Pokken. Unfortunately there’s no game like Xenoblade Chronicles X that stood out among the rest as much as XCX did (I still love this game, it’s fucking amazing), but I was positively surprised by Kirby Planet Robobot. I already liked Triple Deluxe, but Planet Robobot was even better. Kirby is doing good lately!

sun-moon-box-artEventually, I guess I have to go with Pokemon Sun/Moon for my game of the year 2016. When I first started the game I couldn’t help but wonder just how far the franchise has come in the past 20 years and I’ve been a part of it the entire time. They dared to change up the formula and it payed off. Even though Gen VII doesn’t have the best Pokemon designs (in my opinion), they’re fine and I love the concept of regional forms of old pokemon.

Best Movie of 2016

This is a hard one. I think I watched a lot of great movies in 2016. I loved Creed, The Hateful Eight, Rogue One, The Martian, Zootopia, The Danish Girl, Deadpool…. the list goes on. However, when it comes down to it, I guess two movies stood out and even though the winner is very clear, I’d love to point out the runner up, because it surprised me that much. The runner up is Southpaw and it surprised me, because I thought it’s just a Rocky-clone, but it’s not. I didn’t like all the decisions made in the story, but it’s more about a broken man who tries to fix his relationship with his daughter after his wife’s death and tries very hard to get her back, than it’s about boxing. He just happens to be a boxer. Yes, there’s a training montage and yes, it’s awesome. Also, kudos to Jake Gyllenhaal, I think he did a great job.

Now, for my movie of the year, it’s easily Whiplash. Why didn’t I see this movie earlier? whiplashIt’s so intense, it caught me completely off guard. I heard it was good, but damn it was downright amazing. It climbed right into the league of best movies I ever watched. It’s clever, dramatic, cruel, intense, strong characters and an awesome soundtrack. If you haven’t watched it: go watch it.

Best Anime of 2016

For me, 2016 was a good year for anime. Lot’s of shows I enjoyed: Akagami no Shirayukihime Season 2, Haiyku Season 2+3, Hai to Gensou no Grimgar, Soma Season 2, Battery, Bungou Stray Dogs, Noragami, 3 gatsu no Lion, Fune wo Amu, Udon no Kuni no Kiniro Kemari.

I don’t think it comes as a surprise when I say, my personal anime of 2016 was, easily, Yuri!! On Ice. I just jumped into the fandom and was going along with the hype. It was gaylicious, it was fun, it was one hell of a ride and I don’t think I’ve been that much into an anime ever since Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. This doesn’t mean, it’s as good as FMA:B, I don’t like some of the decisions in episode 11 and 12, but it’s just breathtaking yuri-on-ice-02-6how episode 10 suddenly made the entire anime look in an entirely different way. Awesome plot twist right there. Also, as cheesy as it sounds, Yuri!! On Ice really did make history: it boldly portrayed a homosexual relationship in a world without discrimination as something entirely normal and it was done so incredibly well. I’ve hardly ever seen heterosexual relationships done that good and Yuri!! On Ice simply takes it to an entirely different level. We need more romance like that, we need more couples like Victor and Yuri and we need more media open enough towards homosexuality to treat it completely normal. It should not be that big of a deal to have a same sex couple treated like that. I hope, someday, our world can be as understanding and open towards homosexual relationships and other kinds of sexuality as the world in YOI is.

Best Manga of 2016

This is easily the hardest choice. First of all, I completely forgot what I read this year. I mean, besides the usual suspects. Some manga I’d like to point out are Vinland Saga, Skip Beat, Our Relationship is…, Piano no Mori, Until Death Do Us Part, Chihayafuru, Arte, Shounen Oujo, Do Da Dancin’, Kounodori, Nijiiro Days, Vagabond and Shinobi Quartet. Once again, I’d like to point out two manga more. The first one is 10 Dance. I’m a sucker for sportsmanga and ballroom dancing is so amazing. Maybe it’s because I learned it before and actually do know how to dance (not competitively, but at least I don’t make a fool out of myself at weddings), but I love manga about ballroom dancing and the two I enjoy the most are 10 Dance and Ballroom e Youkoso (after more than a year on hiatus, it’ll finally be back in just a few days and we’ll also get an anime, awesomesauce).

The story of 10 dance is rather simple, but I can’t help but love seeing the two Shinyas dacing together. It looks so good, the dancing itself is just awesome and it doesn’t hurt they boys are damn sexy and their personalities are so different it’s fun seeing them working their shit out together. I’m super thrilled the manga is published ihn my country 181140lnow, too.

As for manga of 2016 I’m going with a manga I’ve just recently discovered, but I absolutely fell in love with it and hope it’ll continue doing well. After just 8 chapters there’s not that much story yet and I’m guessing it’ll stay on the lighter side, but it’s a cute romance and I really need that right now: Otonari Complex. It’s cute, it’s light, it’s well done. Nothing of the huge big title like Whiplash in my movie section, but a manga that made an impression and I think it could become something like Lovely Complex, but that’s yet to see.

Yuri on Ice ep 8

This blogpost will mainly focus on the main couple, because contratry to the big majority of the fandom, I think it did Victuuri amazing justice as a couple and did not lack, like many other people believe.

Finally, the follow up after the infamous episode 7 has arrived and the fandom… was initially mostly disappointed. Or let’s say the yaoi fans in the community were severly disappointed. I saw this comming so much, I can’t even tell you how amused I am. And a tiny bit mad, because I’ve read many comments with complains about “lack of Victuuri”, when, in fact, this episode was full of Victuuri. BL fans were going into this episode with the question how they were going to make this episode even gayer than last. The real question was, however, how Victor’s and Yuri’s relationship will continue now.

I think we need a little excursus into the world of Boys Love. Anime is an industry, that means, it wants money by entertaining you. In other words: anime will give you what you want to get your money.That’s why in so many cases movies, TV-series, even games and books, they play it save rather than trying something new. The BL fandom is obsessed with sexual love. Form my experience, there’s a lot more stories about glorified rape out there than actual healthy and functioning relationships, which is why I absolutely detest genre standards and bestsellers like Jujou Romantica and ususally try to find stories like Seven Days, but these are much rarer.

Now, we have Yuri on Ice, which is not yaoi. People were confused and asking who the seme and the uke is, because Yuri was acting rather bold in the tie-scene, but they always forget: Yuri on Ice is not yaoi, it does NOT live off sexual love. It purposely avoids common BL genre standards. It’s a sportsanime that happens to feature a same sex couple and it treats it’s main couple just like that: a normal couple that happens to be of the same sex. Of course we all know there’s a lot of different kinds of couples and heterosexual as well as homosexual couple comes in many diffrent varieties. Everyone will agree that the kind of relationships we’re presented in pornography are not normal, because relationships are not just about sex. Sex is part of a relationship (not all, though), but it’s not all of the relationship.

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, a lot of BL fans think these super-sexualized relationships build on physical intercourse and a lot f times build on rape, are normal and not jut for this genre, but for same sex couples in general, because that’s primarily what media is presenting us on a daily basis and they’re doing this, because the fans want it that way.

Yuri on Ice goes a different route and I can only laugh at the people being disappointed nobody cared about the kiss, because there is nothing to care about, but the kiss had a huge impact nonetheless. Many fans were angry this episode was not gay enough, but I say, it was even gayer than the last. There was no big build up, no overcome-by-emotions driven kiss and no big drama, but that was aleady impiled in the last episode, when Victor pointed out he was going back to Russia was Yuri’s Coach. Victor was already doing damage limitation and he was continously doing it thoughout episode 8.

Epsiode 8 had much more of these little Victuuri highlights and no big drama and the reason is very simple: Victor and Yuri are now in a relationship. Even though the anime didn’t show it, a few weeks of time has passed between these  episodes and Yuri and Victor sorted out their relationship in that time, therefore there’s no reason to talk about the kiss from ep 7 anymore. Contrary to most stereotypical BL relationships with very distinctive roles, Victor and Yuri are both very equal, now that Yuri is comming out of his shell more and more. Victor still seems to be the overall more active and dominating part, but he encourages Yuri to be more bold and loved Yuri taking control.

I just absolutely loved how Yuri has 100% more selfesteem now. I was always under the impression Yuri didn’t like competitions, but this was the first time he truly enjoyed himself at a competition. He looked like someone lifted a huge weight off his chest. He has no problems with competitions whatsoever, he just crumbles under pressure a lot, he can’t deal with big expectations that well, but he learned to have faith in himself and there’s someone who’s supporting him no matter what, so the entire situation seemed to be much more stress-free for Yuri – even though he had entire Russia against him for stealing “their” Victor away from the ice. Instead of cracking under the pressue, he tackled it head it and that’s a HUGE leap of character development for Yuri.

Thoughout the entire episode Victor and Yuri were having a damn lot of fun and this good time, laughing, giggling, doing silly stuff like kissing Yuri’s skates after a successful short program, was a wonderful portayal of their relationship. Unlike most of BL media that primarily focusses on the sexual part of the relationship, Yuri on Ice focusses on the carefree and fun part of a relationship. You know, when most people who’re about to marry say they’re going to marry “their best friend”, it’s just like that. Of course you are intimate and you get into arguments and you get embarrased every once in a while, but being in a relationship should mean there’s a lot of fun on a daily basis and you’re having a good time with your partner. Yuri and Victor were having a damn good time with eath other, they’re truly enjoying their current relationship status and it’s obviously still in early stages, but it looks 100% healthy and normal.

I said somewhere Victor was going damage limitation and what I mean with that is also one of the reasons we probably didn’t see much more smexy stuff. Victor, even though he can behave like a silly child, is the more experienced person when it comes to relatioships and I think it’s a safe bet to say he’s experienced with same sex relationships as well and understands what that means. As sad as it is, homosexual relationsips are still very much frowned upon by many people all over the world. Russia in particular is not the most gay friendly country either. After the kiss, Victor immediately said he was going back to Russia as Yuri’s coach. When he kissed Yuri’s skates, the announcer said Victor was overwhelmed with pride and joy and nobody seems to be having second thoughts after Victor kissed Yuri live on television just a few mere weeks ago. That’s not normal, my friends.

What I thought was very interesting, was when Victor was asked if he wanted to skate against Yuri in a competition. Victor smiled and changed the subject to Yurio immediately. My theory is that he’s probably very conflicted. As a profressional first rate figure skater, he would probably love to compete against Yuri, after he’s gotten rid of his problems now. If Victor goes back to figure skating, he’s going back to Yakov, that’s save to say. For Victor, Yakov is the only coach, he said it numerous times and has nothing but respect for the man. The problem: without Victor as his coach, Yuri would probably retire from competitions. I can’t see him going back to Celestino and I can’t see him going to train under Yakov either. In other words, I’m 95% sure, for Victor going back into competitions would mean seperating from Yuri (even if Yuri, by some miracle, decides to train under another coach and continues) and Victor doesn’t want that.

He can’t tell the media all this stuff, though: “Oh, I would love to, but I don’t want to leave my boyfriend whom I’m madly in love with.” That’s a bad idea, especially in Russia. Victor knows that, he’s been into this business long enough and he knows the media and his home country well enough. That’s why I think Victor is trying to lessen the damage of their freshly-in-love-couple-behavior much more than Yuri, who happily goes along with everything Victor does without a second thought.

Liebe (Yuri on Ice fanfiction)

Es war dunkel. Durch die Fenster des Hotels schien das künstliche Licht des nächtlichen Pekings und tauchte das Hotelzimmer des Eiskunstläufers in blasse Gelb- und Rottöne. Das Zimmer befand sich hoch genug, um dem allgegenwärtigen Lärm der Großstadt zu entkommen, zumindest solange die Fenster geschlossen blieben.

Es war ein seltsamer Tag gewesen, der von dem Augenblick an, als Yuri nach einer langen schlaflosen Nacht unter ächzenden Gliedern aufstand und sich mindestens 50 Jahre alt fühlte, bis jetzt nicht wirklich besser geworden war. Es war ein Tag gewesen mit vielen Hochs und Tiefs, um ehrlich zu sein mit mehr Tiefs als Hochs und er hatte Yuri absolut ausgezehrt. Die psychische Belastung, die physische Belastung, die Interviews, das Licht, das Eis, Victor, Phichit, die Medien, Kiss and Cry und alles unter massivem Schlafmangel und einer zwischengeschobenen Heulsession.

Zu sagen es war ein schwerer Tag gewesen, war eine gnadenlose Untertreibung.

Und dennoch konnte Yuri nicht schlafen. Die Müdigkeit hatte ihn längst eingeholt, er fühlte sich wie durchgekaut und ausgespuckt, um es adäquat zu formulieren. Mental völlig am Ende, die Füße geschwollen, pochend vor Schmerz. Dennoch wollte der lang ersehnte Schlaf nicht kommen, trotz wunderbar weichen Kissen, die sich einladend um Yuris Körper schmiegten und ihm wohlwollend den Weg ins Land der Träume zu erleichtern versuchten.

Yuri hatte Angst. In dem Augenblick, als es passiert war, konnte er an nichts denken, sein Kopf war leer gewesen, genauso wie die Zuschauer in der Halle, inklusive Presse, verschwunden waren. In diesem einen Augenblick gab es nur ihn und Victor. Und das harte Eis, an dem sich Victor wahrscheinlich die Ellenbogen und Knie aufgeschlagen hatte. Ein Augenblick so surreal wie der ganze Tag. Ob es an dem Schlafmangel gelegen hatte konnte Yuri nicht sagen, aber der Tag wirkte für ihn immer noch eher wie ein Ausschnitt aus einem Film als aus seinem Leben.

Yuri rollte sich vorsichtig auf die linkte Seite, sein Rücken schmerzte, der Hintern beschwerte sich ebenfalls. Das Eis war hart gewesen, auch für ihm, wäre er mit dem Hinterkopf aufgeschlagen, hätte er eine Platzwunde davon tragen können. Das Eis war gefährlich, aber er liebte es dennoch. Lange Zeit dachte er, dass er einfach nicht in der Lage war Liebe für andere Menschen zu empfinden, er fand sich damit ab.

Victor war anders, er schien alles und jeden zu lieben und lachte fast ständig. Doch im Laufe der Zeit, die Yuri mit seinem exorbitanten Coach verbrachte, lernte er das Lachen und Lächeln seines Trainers auseinander zu halten. Er bemerkte, wenn Victor eine Show abzog und er liebte die große dramatische Show. Er erkannte sofort, wenn seine Freundlichkeit nur gespielt war und das war sie oft.

Victor schien alles und jeden zu lieben, doch am meisten liebte er sich selbst. Yuri war schon immer beeindruckt gewesen von seiner Ausstrahlung, seiner absoluten Dominanz auf dem Eis, ein wahrer Künstler seines Faches und Yuri war überzeugt davon, dass es keine Person auf diesem Planeten gab, die auch nur annähernd so elegant und von beeindruckender Schönheit war.

Victor war wie eine Rose, die auf dem Eis ihre wahre Schönheit offenbarte, doch wenn man nicht aufpasste, bohrten man sich spitze Stacheln in seine Hände.

Es klopfte an der Tür. Yuri ging die Optionen durch: Phichit – vermutlich zu betrunken von seiner Siegesfeier. Chris – vermutlich gerade mit irgendwem, irgendwo in irgendeinem Bett. Vic… „YURI!“ Victor. Gut gelaunt wie immer. Yuri schielte zu seiner Silbermedaille rüber. Er musste einsehen, dass er das beste aus den gegebenen Umständen herausgeholt hatte. Zufrieden war er dennoch nicht: ein Touchdown, eine Overrotation, ein Fall. Er hätte gewinnen können, auch mit den vierfachen toelopp. Dass sein bester Freund gewonnen hatte, freute Yuri dennoch. Er war nicht angetreten, um den Cup of China zu gewinnen, sondern um den Grand Prix Final zu gewinnen.

Er klopfte wieder, Victor wurde unruhig, aber Yuri wollte ihn nicht sehen und tat so, als würde er schlafen. Wenn sein Coach vor der Tür noch lange so ein Theater veranstaltete, würde er vom Personal wegen Ruhestörung bald abtransportiert werden.

Dann klickte die Tür offen und Yuri sprang mit vor Schock geweiteten Augen auf und starrte ungläubig in das gut gelaunte Gesicht von Victor. „Yuri, du kannst mich doch nicht aussperren!“

Yuris Gesichtsausdruck änderte sich binnen Sekunden von Schock zu genervt: „Ich habe geschlafen.“ „Nein, hast du nicht.“

Yuri verdrehte die Augen. Es waren Momente wie dieser, wenn er Victor am liebsten vor die Tür setzten würde. „Aber ich hätte schlafen können.“

Er ließ sich wieder auf der Bett fallen und bemerkte, dass sich Victor zu ihm auf die Bettkante setzte. Er hatte seinen Anzug ausgezogen, stattdessen trug er Jeans und ein einfaches Shirt. Er hätte auch einen Kartoffelsack tragen können und darin schön ausgesehen. Yuri seufzte. Victor war eine Rose, er selber bestenfalls ein Stiefmütterchen.

„Ich bin sehr stolz auf dich, Yuri!“ Ein Grinsen, ein sehr breites. „Ich hätte nicht gedacht, dass du für mich den Quad Flip springst.“ Es sah so anders aus, als das was Yuri nach dem Kuss aus dem Eis gesehen hatte. So ein Lächeln hatte er noch nie zuvor bei Victor gesehen. Es war das erste mal gewesen, dass er ein wirklich ehrliches und ernst gemeintes Lächeln bei ihm gesehen hatte. Keine Show, kein herumalbern. Yuri hatte Angst davor sich die Aufzeichnung des ganzen Stunts anzusehen, den sich Victor da geleistet hatte, denn er wusste, dass er sein Lächeln erwidert hatte. Live. In die ganze Welt.

Yuri spürte, wie ihm die Röte ins Gesicht stieg. Ohne Victor zu antworten, drehte er sich weg von ihm und vergrub sein Gesicht in einem Kissen. Victors Grinsen wurde noch breiter, Yuri wusste es ohne hin zu schauen, und der Russe begann auf dem Bett auf und ab zu hüpfen, bevor er seine Arme weit ausbreitete, als wolle er die ganze Welt umarmen.
Anstatt der Welt, umarmte er aber Yuri. Eine Angewohnheit, die im Laufe der Monate stetig zugenommen hatte. Victor hing ständig auf Yuri in irgend einer Art und Weise und Yuri konnte sich keinen besseren Reim darauf machen, als dass Victor nun mal Victor war. Victor war speziell, selbst für einen exzentrischen Europäer.

Mit Victors Atem in seinem Nacken kehrte eine Augenblick der Ruhe ein und Yuri negann die Optionen “rausschmeißen” oder “einfach die Nacht so zu verbringen” gegeneinander abzuwägen.

„Yuri…“ seine Stimme war leise, ungewohnt tief und rau, sie jagte einen Schauer über Yuris Rücken. „… es tut mir Leid.“

Die Zahnräder in Yuris müdigkeitsgeplagtem Hirn knarrten. Er blinzelte in die Nacht hinein: „Huh?“ „Ich hätte dich nicht zum weinen bringen dürfen. Das tut mir Leid.“ „Was?“ Yuri klang ungläubig.

„Ehrlich!“ versicherte Victor, immernoch seltsam ernsthaft, aber das interessierte Yuri nicht wirklich: „WAS?“

Hastig befreite er sich aus Victor Armen und rappelte sich auf, so dass er auf seinen Knien stand und auf Victor hinab schaute, der ihn jetzt wiederum sehr verblüfft anstarrte mit unschuldigen Augen, wie die eines Kleinkindes. Kein Wunder, dass er den Ruf eines Playboys hatte.

„Du hast mich vor dem gesamten Stadion live on camera auf der ganzen Welt ge…küsst,“ das Wort kam ihm nur schwer über die Lippen, sein Schädel glühte, „und du entschuldigst dich, weil ich wegen deiner Idiotie geheult habe?“

Es vergingen die Sekunden. Victor blinzelte. Einmal. Zweimal. Dann zuckte er mit den Schultern. „Der Kuss tut mir auch nicht Leid.“

Yuri blieb der Mund offen stehen. Victor sah aus, als wäre es ihm vollkommen egal gewesen, doch als er bemerkte, dass Yuri nicht so schnell aus seiner Schockstarre heraus kam, stand er ebenfalls auf und sah Yuri direkt in die Augen. Er legte seine Arme lässig auf Yuris Schultern und setzte zu einem zweiten Kuss an, doch bevor sich ihre Lippen berührten, stieß Yuri sein ewiges Idol von sich.

Victor war Victor. Normale Maßstäbe konnte man nicht ansetzten, aber dennoch hielt Yuri es nicht aus, wie leichtfertig Victor Intimitäten verteilte. Erst als er als tief Luft holte, um Victor seine Meinung zu sagen, fiel ihm auf, dass er seinen Atem angehalten hatte: „NEIN!“ Das musste das ganze Hotel gehört haben.

„Yuri, ich…“ Victor verfiel in leichte Panik, als er Tränen in Yuris Augen sah. „Ich hasse es, wenn du das tust, Victor!“

„Bitte?“ Victor konnte ihm nicht folgen und konnte in seiner Hilflosigkeit nichts tun. Er hatte Angst, die Situation schlimmer zu machen, als sie sowieso schon war. Aber Yuri hatte der Kuss auf dem Eis doch gefallen, da war sich Victor sicher gewesen, als er Yuris Gesicht gesehen hatte mit einem Lächeln, das die Sonne hätte aufgehen lassen können. Und er wollte es wieder sehen.

Im Moment allerdings kämpfte Yuri mit seinen Tränen. War es Trauer? Wut? Erschöpfung? Victor verstand es nicht, er konnte sich schlecht in andere Personen hinein versetzten. Seit seinem Debut drehte sich die ganze Welt immer um ihn, aber zum ersten mal drehte sich Victors ganze Welt um jemand anderen. Er war vollkommen hilflos und gnadenlos überfordert.

Yuri senkte seinen Blick und atmete tief durch. „Man küsst niemanden aus Spaß. Das macht man nicht.“ Hätte er Victor in diesem Moment angesehen, so hätte er bemerkt, dass er ihm jetzt vollkommen verloren hatte.

„Yuri“, sprach er sanft und berührte sanft die Fingers des Japaners, während er fortfuhr, „ich habe das nicht aus Spaß getan.“ Sein Tonfall war ehrlich, sanft und ruhig, aber dennoch konnte und wollte Yuri ihm nicht glauben.
„Wie viele Leute hast du in deinem Leben geküsst?“ Die Frage war eine Herausforderung, Yuri wusste, dass Victor sie nicht beantworten konnte. Während seiner aktiven Zeit gab es fast wöchentlich neue Gerüchte über Victor und sein Liebesleben.

Victor seufzte und umarmte Yuris Torso, vergrub sein Gesicht in dessen Nachthemd. „Unzählige und tausendfach.“ Dann sah er zu Yuri nach oben, der ihn durch kalte Augen anstarrte. „Aber du bist etwas besonderes, Yuri.“

Yuri schüttelte geschlagen seinen Kopf und sackte in sich zusammen, war nun wieder auf einer Höhe zu Victor und murmelte leise in seiner Muttersprache: „いいえ.“

Auch wenn Victor kein Wort Japanisch sprach, wusste er genau, was Yuri gesagt hatte. Er hielt seinen Schützling weiterhin im Arm und überlegte sehr genau, was er als nächstes sagen wollte.

Er dachte einen Augenblick darüber nach Yuri aufzuziehen, dass er mit dieser Einstellung kein Grand Prix Finale gewinnen würde, das hätte dem fragilen Eiskunstläufer aber wahrscheinlich nur den letzten Todesstoß gegeben. Stattdessen erinnerte er sich an Yuris Worte, dass er mehr Vertrauen in Yuri haben soll als er es selber in sich hat und entschied sich für die simple Wahrheit: „Seit ich das Video im Internet gesehen habe, wusste ich, dass du etwas besonderes bist und seit ich dich kenne weiß ich, dass du der einzige bist.“

Yuri schluckte. „Und wa-warum hast du der Presse erzählt, dass es normal wäre jemanden zu… zu kü-küssen, wenn man sehr stolz ist? Und warum hast du so deutlich gesagt, dass du sich freust als mein Co-Coach nach Russland zurück zu gehen?“

Da war es wieder. Das gleiche Lächeln, das Yuri auf dem Eis gesehen hatte und dem sich Yuri nicht entziehen konnte. Zärtlich streichelte Victor ihm über seine Wange, ebenso sanft wie seine Worte über die Lippen rollten: „любимая моя“

„Was heißt das?“ Yuri konnte nur flüstern. Die Stille der Nacht hatte sie beide in eine Sicherheit gehüllt, von der er Angst hatte sie zu verlieren, wenn er zu laut sprach.

Victor antwortete nicht. Nicht mit Worten. Er nahm Yuris heiße Wangen in seine grazilen Hände und schenkte ihm das ehrlichste und liebevollste Lächeln, das er jemals einer Person geschenkt hatte.

Yuris Kopf war leer. Die Zeit bliebt stehen, wie sie es in der Eishalle getan hatte. Er hörte das Blut in seinen Ohren rauschen, doch ignorierte es, als Victor ihn ein zweites mal küsste. Auch diesmal schloss Yuri nicht die Augen, starrte nur geradeaus.

In der Eishalle waren sie eigentlich mehr gegeneinander gestoßen, als alles andere. Der Kuss war sehr hart gewesen, übermütig und augenblicklich vorüber. Dieser war anders, er war sanft, liebevoll und nicht mehr als ein Hauch, der sich auf Yuris Lippen gelegt hatte. Es dauerte einige Sekunden, bis er ihn unsicher erwiderte, zitternd und unerfahren. Yuri konnte fühlen wie Victor lächelte, es war das erste mal in seinem Leben, dass es ein Lachen spüren konnte.

Langsam löste sich Victor wieder von Yuri und sah ihn durch seine unbeschreiblich blauen Augen verliebt an. Yuri war wie verzaubert und lies sich auf eine innige Umarmung ein, und schenkte den minimalsten Kleinigkeiten Beachtung, bemerkte den fremden Herzschlag auf seiner Brust, genauso schnell wie sein eigener und den Duft des teuren Shampoos, das Victor benutze.

Als Yuri am nächsten Morgen aufwachte, konnte er sich nicht mehr daran erinnern eingeschlafen zu sein. Er nahm Victors Arme um seine Hüften wahr, den Oberkörper, der sich an seinen schmiegte und den heißen Atem auf seiner Schulter.

Die Röte kroch ihm wieder ins Gesicht, als er sich an vergangene Nacht erinnerte. Es war kein Traum gewesen, kein schlechter Scherz, aber ihm war seine größte Last vom Herzen gefallen. Yuri, der nie jemanden geliebt hatte und Victor, der von jedem geliebt wurde.

„Rose und Stiefmütterchen…“ murmelte er schlaftrunken sich sich hinein, ohne zu wissen, dass Victor schon wach war.

„Frangipani“ ertönte es hinter Yuri, der sich verwirrt zu Victor umdrehte und von einem federweichen Kuss begrüßt wurde. „Guten Morgen, любимая моя.“ „Ich weiß immer noch nicht, was das heißt.“ „Und das ist auch besser so.“ Victor stützte sich auf einen Arm und lies den anderen locker auf Yuris Hüfte liegen, während sich Yuri für einen Augenblick wunderte, wann sich der Russe ausgezogen hatte. Immerhin die Unterhose bedeckte gerade das nötigste, aber seinen roten Wangen half das nicht.

„Warum?“ fragte er schließlich. Victor erhob seine freie Hand von Yuris Hüfte, berührte mit seinem Zeigefinger dessen Stirn und ließ diesen langsam über die Nase zu den Lippen wanden, wo er inne hielt. „Weil das zu offensichtlich wäre. Besonders in Moskau.“

Victors liebestrunkener Gesichtsausdruck wurde ernster, als er Yuri fest in den Arm nahm. „Hör zu, die Presse darf hiervon nichts erfahren, okay? Albern und Blödsinn sind kein Problem, aber eine ernsthafte Beziehung schon.“

Es dauerte einige Augenblicke, bis die Verwirrung aus Yuris Gesicht der Erkenntnis gewichen war, worauf Victor hinaus wollte: „Weil du ein Mann bist.“ Man hatte Victor oft nachgesagt homosexuell zu sein, oder zumindest bisexuell, aber Yuri konnte sich nicht daran erinnern, dass Victor jemals tatsächlich mit einem Mann eine Beziehung geführt hatte. Zumindest nicht öffentlich oder offiziell.

Victor lachte auf und fiel in seinen gewohnt verspielten Tonfall: „Ist dir das erst jetzt aufgefallen? Dass ich ein Mann bin? Ganz schön spät, du verletzt mich, Yuuuuri~“ „Nein, nein!“, rechtfertigte sich der Japaner und rollte sich auf den Rücken, während er die Zimmerdecke gedankenverloren anstarrte. „Es ist nur so, ich habe bisher nie darüber nachgedacht. Es ist egal, ob du ein Mann bist, es ist einfach nicht wichtig. Victor ist Victor.“

Es herrschte ein Augenblick wohltuende Stille, bis Yuri etwas einfiel: „Was ist Fiangipani?“ „Frangipani“, verbesserte Victor, „ist eine Blüte. Ich finde, sie passt viel besser zu dir, als ein Stiefmütterchen. Die Frangipani besticht mit einfacher Schönheit und simpler Eleganz. Sie ist schnörkellos und wunderschön.“

Victor hielt inne, um Yuri diese Information verarbeiten zu lassen. Er konnte ihm ansehen, dass er nicht glaubte mir einer so schönen Pflanze vergleichen zu werden. Victor würde noch viel mentale Aufbauarbeit leisten müssen, aber er würde es gerne tun und konnte es kaum erwarten seine Frangipani erblühen zu sehen.

„Yuri, was bedeutet ‘Liebe’ auf Japanisch?“





いいえ = nein

любимая моя = meine Geliebte (zu Frauen)

Yuri on Ice ep7

The love is real! All on board the hype train! Let the ship sail!


by HolieKay @deviantart

Damn, this episode was awesome. Ever since the first ep, Yuri on Ice was my favorite anime of the season. It’s just gloriously gay and walks the perfect line between making fun of itself and being serious. When Yuri broke into tears in episode 7, it was very well executed with a red nose, eyes, shaky voice and everything. It had such a big impact, we all knew he was going to break down after Victor dared he would quit if Yuri didn’t make the podium, but he was still surprisingly good at standing up for himself and telling Victor his place. It was still very much in character, though. On the other hand… Chris? He’s just insane: dat ass, dat routine, dat comming.

There’s so much to love and laugh about this anime, even if you’re not into BL. If you’re


Feel the love!

into BL, your dreams probably came true this episode. People can argue with me it wasn’t a kiss, I stand by my word it was a damn fucking real kiss. Period. Honestly, after having Victor sleep on him and hug him naked, I’m pretty sure a simple hug wouldn’t surprise Yuri as much as it did. Also: that lip close up. It was gorgeous!

And please, give me a minute to adore Yuris costume for his free program. I think it suits him so much more than the one he’s wearing for his short program (well, it was originally from Victor and designed to suit him, so…). With all the weird guys skating around, Yuri is simple, not too flashy, elegant and classy. Just like his music reflects on his person, his costume does, too! It all goes together so damn well, he looks stunning in it.

While I’m absolutely in love with Yuri and Victor, how they showed both of them have still


Yuri standing up after his attempt at the quadruple flip

a lot to learn, but great potential, I’m a bit disappointed Yuri didn’t win. Yeah, he messed up 3 of his jumps, but only fell once, overrotated once and touched the ice once. He still got points for all three of his messed up jumps and he increased his technical difficulty with the quadruple flip right at the end of the programm, even if it was messed up – it had enough rotations at least. Furthermore, all of his other elements were flawless and his step sequence was amazing. He was surprinsingly clam, had a great expression and still had a 20 points lead over Phichit from his flawless short program.

Phichit skated great, but not flawless and had a much lower technical difficulty. Unfortunately we didn’t see the technical difficulty from Phichit and Yuri… or Yuris overall points. Therefore, we can’t really judge the outcome that good, but point in case: with Yuris higher difficulty, 20 point lead from the short programm and flawless free programm aside from his messed up 3 jumps, I still expected Yuri to win over Phichit. If I remember correctly Yuzuru Hanyu broke the world record with a messed up jump (that just shows a) how damn awesome he is and b) how crazy difficult his routines are) in his free programm and was 38 points ahead of second place. I think it was entirely possible for Yuri to win over Phichit.

So, why did Yuri lose? My guess: plot convenience. The declared goal is winning the Grand


Yuri 2nd – Phichit 1st – Chris 3rd

Prix final and we still need some room for improvement, hence why Yuri didn’t skate his free routine flawless even once yet. He already nailed his short program, but he has a long way to go for his free progam, espically since he now added the quadruple flip and he still needs to land it, let alone nail it. I think the quadruple flip could be the deciding factor, the one thing that makes the difference, if he lands it well. This is where we need to go from now. Yuri probably has the potential to break the world record with his current routines, if done flawless from a technical point of view and a good presentation and this may just be where we’re heading for the final episode of this anime.


Yuzuru Hanyu nailing the quadruple toe loop at Sotchi 2014 Winter Olympics – the element Yuri was supposed to perform as the final jump of his program.



fake1To start off the new year strong, I decided to reread probably my all time favorite BL manga. When talking about shounen ai I usually go with Seven Days and I have to admit I usually prefer shounen ai over yaoi, because many yaoi manga are written around the sex. I don’t have a problem with some mano a mano action, but it’s often just too much and the story usually just serves as a matchmaker to get them into bed as fast as possible.

Maybe that’s the reason I like Fake so much. It’s a 7 volume manga about fake5two cops in New York. Dee is bi and more or less instantly falls in love with his new partner Ryo, who’s been straight so far, but feels drawn to Dee when they first meet at the police station. Sounds rushed? It’s not. Even though Ryo does feel some sort of affection towards Dee and even allows him to kiss him every once in a while, he’s afraid to fall in love with Dee and struggles to accept his feelings. Also, he’s an airhead and doesn’t even realize what the heck is going on at first, while Dee would love to jump him any second.

fake3For a yaoi manga, Fake is very tame. For a long time all you get to see are kisses, some hotter than others, and Dee trying to get into Ryo’s pants unsuccessfully. However, even though it seems Dee is some horny impatient idiot, he stopped at several occasions when he noticed Ryo was out of it and there was something weird going on. He never took advantage of the situation when Ryo was mentally not fully reliable and only fooled around when he new his partner was fully “with him”. I really appreciate this, because I hate all the countless rape-stories. It may look at some points that Dee seriously wants to rape Ryo, but he would’ve never actually done it and the fact that he stopped on more than one occasion for Ryo’s sake, proves just that. Thumbs-up for non-rape-yaoi.

It takes the both of them until volume 7 once there’s finally the first sex szene and it’s very short. Some foreplay and one half-shadowed-picture of them actually doing it and even the second time around at the very end of the manga is fake2not really that long. The “worst” aka most explicit thing you get to see is a the censored shape of an erect penis. I’ve seen much, much worse in other yaoi, I can assure that.

Besides, with kisses as hot as the ones we see, it’s really not that much of a deal we don’t see that much sex. It’s not a manga build around sex anyway, like many other yaoi and you can’t really blame those for it, because that’s what the audience wants. It’s great to see some more tame works in between and I have to admit, I love seeing Ryo and Dee kissing. That’s why I filled this post with so many pictures of them kissing. 😀

Manga of the Year


Akagami no Shirayuki-hime

Manga of the year is a lot harder to do than Anime of the year. A manga can be completed in Japan, but is still published overseas or the scanlations are not that fast. Also, if it’s not by a famous manga-ka, a new manga is usually not even translated starting chapter 1. Scanlators and official publishers alike usually pick popular manga to translate, so there’s a lot of stuff I can’t possibly have read, simply because there’s no translation available – and in some cases not even raws.

Another problem is the longevity of manga. Of course there are great short manga, but more popular manga tend to run a lot longer than your average anime (12-24 episodes), especially when the title is published semi-monthly (Fruits Basket) or monthly (Fullmetal Alchemist) and the magazines sometimes skip a week/month, too.

To make a long story short: I’ve read way too much to remember everything I read, you usually don’t start reading a manga starting from the first chapter published in Japan, especially when you don’t live in Japan and long runners such as Conan or Ippo will probably still going in 10 years from now, so I’m just going with whatever I still remember I read this year. I’ll try choosing titles that left an impression on me.

Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso already appeared on my anime of the year list


Ichi Ni No San!

and it’s here again. I’d like to mention this one, because I rooted a lot for a happy ending, even though I knew it would end up having tragic ending. It was well done and you need some guts to kill off a main character.

Shokugeki no Soma has also been on my anime of the year list and I started reading the manga because of the anime. Especially in recent chapters there’s been a lot going on and when Azami took over the school, it feld like every new chapter came with a huge new surprise and that was very cool.

Diamond no Ace Act II started off on the really wrong foot with me, so it’s mostly negative memories I have with this one. It’s still more Furuya no Ace, even though every idiot should see just how much Sawamura is worth. The manga-ka is in love with Furuya and that’s super annoying. That’s the reason it was even more satisfying when Miyuki “said” about Sawamura: “Make them realize that you exist!” in chapter 13 and in chapter 14 Sawamura delivered a flawless game, exceeding the expectations from every single person in the stadium. That was cool. Unfortunately the focus is yet again on someone else…

Hirunaka no Ryuusei is a nice Shoujo with a surprising twist at the end. Suzume is in love with her teacher, an old childhood friend of hers, and I have to admit in most manga like this, the girl gets her man. However, in this case, even though he fell in love with her as well, he pushed her away and she got together with another guy. He realized too late, that she won’t just come back and in the end, she decides to let go of him an stay with her current boyfriend. While the end was disappointing for me, because I was rooting for the teacher, it was nice to see a manga actually going for this route.


Sakamoto desu ga?

Sakamoto desu ga? will soon be over and there haven’t been that many chapters scanlated this year, but I’m super excited every time I see a new one. It’s a manga I enjoy a lot, because it’s a great parody of the perfect guy every girl falls in love with. It’s so overexeggerated that it’s absurd and it’s one hell of a joy to read that. It doesn’t even follow a real plot, it’s just Sakamoto reacting to everyday life situations or dealing with jealous guys.

Blue Sky Complex is a yaoi manga I recently discovered and I like it especially because it’s less about two guys being in love as opposed to two people being in love. The former hetero partner doesn’t care at all that his new partner is a guy, because he fell in love with the person and not the gender. It’s also quite funny the delinquent ends up as the uke and the more serious and silent former hetero guy is the seme.  You’d expect it the other way around.

My two top contenders for Manga of the Year 2015 are Piano no Mori and Ballroom e Youkoso. A story about a boy who learns the piano and another story about competitive ballroom dancing. That’s just so much like me. Both manga are being scanlated, but both are behind in recent chapters. Ballroom saw a few more scanlations lately, but I’m desperately following


Ballroom e Youkoso

the raws as well. The characters and energy this manga delivers are amazing. I’ve done ballroom dancing myself and it’s really hard, so I can relate to it. Piano no Mori on the other hand was finished in Japan this year and the scanlations still have a long way to go, but it was a great and very satisfying ending, even without understanding a single world. Let’s just hope the actual translation won’t ruin it for me.

After all, I guess Ballroom e Youkoso makes the cut and is my manga 2015. I’ve been obsessed with it from the day I discovered it and I would love to see a proper anime  adaptation – that usually means more popularity and faster scanlations.